You think you have always known…

… yet you never really had.

Something’s bothering me and I’ve tried my best to let it pass out yet I can’t, and so I’m writing this down now…

To Whom It May Concern:

I don’t care if your mind would restrict processing the thoughts I have written below and that you might not as well understand, but I hope your conscience does.

It’s so funny how I was just talking about how important to be someone who is sensitive enough to know his or her responsibilities and obligations as a human being in my previous blog post yesterday, yet today, I just came across something ironic, something that made me feel disappointed.

For me, there are several kinds of living creatures, there are those who learn, who change, who understand, but on the other hand, unfortunately, there are those who DON’T.

Sometimes, people think they’ve already done enough, that they’re already mature for having accomplished such things, that they are already responsible and independent to do things on their own, that they have already understood the adversities of daily living, that they have already been aware of their childish actions, that they have already changed, and that they think they have always known, yet they never really had… NEVER.

I am not judging… I am not being mean… I am not being rude…. I am just trying to state the awful truth…

I know you have already asked yourself something like, “Have I really grown old?” but why not try to question “Have I already grown up?”.

p.s. If you don’t want to be sensitive enough for others, do it for yourself.

Missing the Innocence Within

Summer vacation. I am already experiencing summer, but I still don’t feel the ‘vacation’ part. I am already a graduate but I am still preoccupied with school works that I need to finish [the perks of being an officer]. And I am also messed up of making my decisions for  college. With all this obligations and responsibilities I have right now, I just want to take a rest or maybe, forget all of them for a little while and be like a kid.

No worries…

I miss those good old times when all I have to do is to wake-up, eat, play and sleep, no more no less. As a child, I didn’t have to worry about waking up early just to catch up with the call time in going to school to do what I am required to do. I didn’t have to finish everything because I could just sit there and my mom would do things for me, because I am still young and short. I didn’t have to decide for my own because my parents would figure it out for me. I didn’t have to think of going to school because I am allowed to play all day, even though the sun is too high and it’s very hot outside.

On a deeper note, I also miss those times when getting my knees scratched would only be the reason of my tears; when stomachaches will only be the reasons of my pain; and when having my toys broken would only be the reason of my frustrations. It’s also given that as a child, the only mistake you make is when you have misspelled a word and that you don’t need a hard time to think of a solution because you could just bite the tip of your pencil for the eraser to appear so you can annihilate your mistakes and you can start all over again, without enduring much damage.

But…

I think I have known for a while that even though I am already 16, I can still be a child, not by actions but by heart. I could still do the things I want, except that I am already limited. I have to accept the fact that at this age, I should learn how to be independent and I need to be responsible enough for my actions. And that my actions would be a great factor of what might my future be. 🙂